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Love, honor, and cherish are three words that we uttered during a marriage ceremony. But after years of marriage, some of us might even forget how to cherish our spouse. You might love your spouse, but did you really cherish them?
Cherishing your spouse means that you recognize their value and care for that person lovingly. You love them, protect them, adore them, and take care of them. You also respect, honor, and look up to that person.
When you cherish your spouse, you do not take them for granted. You show appreciation for the things they do. Trust me, if you keep doing these, you will have a healthy relationship that is filled with happiness, joy, and most importantly is love.
How To Make Your Spouse Feel Special
At the early stage of dating, when we’re getting to know each other, we often think about our lover. Our thoughts are fulfilled with the one we love and we always want to please them. We learn how to treat them better, how to make them feel happy, and how to make them feel loved.
Unfortunately, this romantic feeling started to fade away after years of marriage. Most of the reasons are because we get caught up with our daily life routine. We have kids to take care of, we busy with our careers, our works, and so much more.
Read: How Not To Be Selfish In A Marriage
When we’re too busy with our daily routine, we tend to forget that our spouse also needs our attention. They might not be showing it, but deep down in their heart, they want to know that you care about them and feel grateful to have them in your life.
The good news is, cherishing your spouse is something you can learn. And it doesn’t really take a lot of effort to make your spouse feel cherished. Even your small action will make their day.
So to give you some good ideas on how to cherish your spouse, here are the tips:
1# Compliment Your Spouse To Make Them Feel Valued
If you want to learn to cherish your spouse, start by changing the ways you treat them and demonstrate your love, care, and affection. One of the signs that your relationship is moving in the right direction is when your spouse acknowledges how you are brightening up their day.
And the easiest way to that is to give your spouse a compliment. Say something nice to them, something that can make your partner happy. To compliment effectively, focus on how they make you feel, and please do not exaggerate.
2# Give Meaningful Present
A gift is a tangible acknowledgment that your spouse is on your thoughts. Leaving the present with a little note can mean a lot. It doesn’t need to be expensive. You can give her anything as long as it is meaningful and sincere from your heart.
If you are not sure what to give to your partner, pay attention to the conversation. They might give you a hint about something they wanted. As an example, food that they would like to try, or things that they are interested in.
Also, don’t forget to write her some love notes in a place that easily discover. Your spouse will love the fact that you took the time to write those loving words for them.
3# Spend Quality Time Together
Take your spouse on a romantic weekend trip, no kids, just the two of you. You can plan the whole trip and surprise your spouse. Use this opportunity to spend quality time together, try to have some fun, and create wonderful memories that will last forever.
If you have some restrictions on traveling, you can just spend your quality time together at your home. It can be spent anywhere as long as both of you enjoying the time together, laugh together, and feel good around each other.
Read: What To Do If You Are Feeling Unappreciated In Your Marriage
Because the most important part of spending quality time together is, both of you can connect in a positive way and create a deeper connection. You can just have a drink together at home or camping in your own yard.
Author at TheUglyFact.com
Joyce Hue an author, creative content manager and loving mother. In her spare time, she loves to read books, cook delicious meals, go travel and shopping! She loves blogging because this is the way to share her thoughts.
Well, fellas, if you’ve ever wondered what’s an acceptable age gap when dating younger women, this update blog will help you out!
Provided she’s of legal age…
Short answer: Whatever works for you.
Long answer: It depends. Read on …
Factors Important to an Acceptable Age Gap
An acceptable age gap when dating depends on the chemistry, values, and long-term goals of both partners.
Since I work only with folks who are ready to settle down for the long haul without settling for the short stick, my views on ageism will apply as such.
If you’re interested in fooling around, testing ice cream flavours, or wanting a Sugar Baby or Sugar Daddy—nothing wrong with that—this post doesn’t apply to you.
Unless you’ve longed all of your life for a football-team-sized family, I believe our 20s should be for testing ice cream flavours.
Even though many twenty-somethings long for lasting love, practicality (divorce rates) suggest you’re better off getting to know people—including (especially) yourself—before selecting your one and only. #WakeUP2Luv
If you’ve only tried vanilla, one day you gonna wonder what chocolate tastes like. (Or maybe strawberry—but then again, I am biassed.)
Long Term Love
But if you’re interested in a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship, then the acceptable age gap of a potential partner is a reasonable consideration not necessarily a deal breaker.
One of the major considerations for someone ready to settle down is whether or not they want children.
If they do want children, then age can play a factor.
Age Gaps Matter When it Comes to Kids
This may be the biggest consideration when figuring out the acceptable age gap for you.
She’s in her…
30s and wants kids or already has little ones from a previous relationship. He’s in his 50s. He’s got grown kids is done being a daddy.
20s and wants kids but not for another 10 years. He’s in his mid 40s and wants to start a family a-sap. No go. End game.
30s and wants kids STAT. He’s in his 40s and not sure about kids. First, he needs to get his second career off the ground.
End of story. End of romance. (Now, or later when it’s more painful.) Honey, you risking it big time.
OK, you get the idea.
What’s the rule about assessing a potential mate? Right, don’t go for potential!
No, she may not change her mind no matter how persuasive you think you can be.
And if she doesn’t and you’re now 55 and she’s left you for Bret because he’s young and fertile, how happy are you going to be?
Life is full of risk and reward. When it comes to love, only you can decide if she’s worth it.
Of course, people change their minds all the time.
I know of a woman who desperately wanted kids, and her partner didn’t.
And then he moved on to a new gal and bam! Babies be popping out like one of those automatic tennis ball shooting machines.
That’s life. It happens. Be glad it happened sooner than later.
Aside from wanting children, what other factors influence the acceptable age gap?
She worries he will …
Die early leaving her sobbing in her Cab Sauv.
Not want sex as far into their future as she thinks she will. (Tip: Get your testosterone checked!)
Get diseased and need to be taken care of at a time when she still feels young.
Let his physical condition slide and “get old” before she is ready to accept that fate.
Lose cognitive capacities and they’ll lose the mental connection they had.
Guess what? These are all possibilities.
But it’s also possible she dies first. It happens.
It’s possible she will be the first to not want sex or to develop a disease, let her body go to pot, or lose mental connection.
We all know people who have suffered the result of these situations.
I know a couple who’ve been together for over 40 years. He’s 26 years older than she is.
They’re still in love. They still connect. I don’t know if they still have sex, but I’ll bet they have a deep intimacy, regardless.
And I’ll bet you know couples who are around the same age who don’t connect, aren’t in love, and don’t have sex (at least with each other).
AJ True Age Gap Story
My ex-husband is 16 years my senior.
He’s still the man to whom I set my what-a-good-man-is bar, even though we split up (largely) because he got lazy, and at the time, I didn’t know how to effectively inspire him to get un-lazy.
(He admits his part in losing my hand and is now happily remarried with someone he won’t take for granted. And I’m happy for him.)
Acceptable Age Gap Takeaways:
Truly, age is just a number if you’re both over 30 or less than 10 years apart.
As long as your beliefs, values and long-term goals are compatible, you’ve got as good a chance as anyone.
Even though in the midst of the aftershock it can feel like you’ll never figure out how to heal from the one that got away, you can. I promise.
Heartbreak sucks, no two ways about it. I feel for you.
Whether we’re the one that left or the one that did the leaving or your sweetheart passed away, it takes time to heal a broken heart.
Yes, you read that right, if it was a breakup and she broke up with you, if she has any feelings whatsoever, she’ll feel bad about the breakup, too.
If you really think she doesn’t then find some small solace in knowing you’re no longer with a heartless cold fish.
Stages of Grief for The One That Got Away (/Passed Away)
You may go through these stages in order or out of order or you may dip in and out of them randomly.
There’s no wrong way to get over the one that got away except to give up.
So make the conscious choice to:
Be gentle with yourself.
Trust yourself to get through it.
The Stages of Grief
These are all natural stages of getting over heartbreak!
In the video, I share what these stages look like in the real world as well as things you can do to help yourself heal and feel better.
As well, there’s a bonus tip for what to do if the one that got away got away a long time ago!
How to get confidence back after heartbreak?
There are plenty of things one can do to get confidence back, but the three in this video actually have a physiological effect on the body and brain that help us feel better when we most need a confidence boost.
Go easy on yourself.
Heartbreak is natural and healthy.
If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be feeling it and that’s what sociopaths are made of. No es bueno.
Want More Wingmam? 😉
Here are some additional free resources for you.
INSTANT CONFIDENCE (Cheatsheet + special offer not available anywhere else revealed after sign-up!)
Not-Free NEXT STEPS IF YOU’RE SINGLE!
DOUBLE YOUR ONLINE DATING TRAINING! (Simple, quick and easy online course.) HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND. GUARANTEED. (Intensive 6 week online course.)
Need to play the field before settling down again? Fair enough. In that case case, check “this” out!
Remember, “God helps those who help themselves.”
You’re going to be ok.
Why is heartbreak so painful? Why is rejection painful? (Dating Advice)
How to Get Over Someone (5 Ways to Get Over Heartbreak) #datingadvice
3 Ways to Rebuild Confidence After Heartbreak (Dating Advice for Men)
The fine print:
DISCLAIMER: Anna is not a psychiatrist—no way—or medical advisor—nope—you are responsible for your actions and the results thereof. Such is life.
My 2nd Official 1st Date for Project 50 First Dates
Many years ago when I’d just started coaching, I launched Project 50 First Dates, and was offering “real fake date” coaching options.
Like The G Man from First Date #1 (see blog), SS was another gentleman I was impressed by.
He had the balls to go on a real fake date, the openness and optimism to “see what happens” and the generosity to share and receive: his story and my real fake date feedback.
Let’s explore what happened and see if the advice I gave still applies in today’s dating scene!
Dating Site: Match.com
Age: late 40s Kids: two—tween and teen(age) Work: executive management
The first thing I liked about this man was that he respected my “loathe” of texting, IMing (instant messaging), emailing and so on. (Significant.)
He didn’t “bother” me all week prior to our date and I appreciated that he understood how busy I was.
He listened, heard and respected my needs!
I’d follow up with him the day of the date to confirm plans and we met at a fancy dessert house not too far from where I lived at the time.
The date was on a Saturday at 3:00pm, a great time to meet between restaurant lunch and dinner shifts so it’s not loud or busy.
Right away he got two points! (Don’t deny it, men love scoring! 😉 )
Was on time. Early in fact. Check. (But no need to be early without reason.)
Sat with his back to the room. Check. (See last Project: 50 First Dates blog for significance.)
I walked up to him and greeted him; we shook hands.
Even in today’s #metoo era, I suggest asking if she’s “a hugger” as it’s always a good idea to break the appropriate touch barrier sooner than later.
I took off my coat and sat down across from him.
Right off, I placed my cell phone on the table face up and apologized, “I’m so sorry, but I’m waiting for a call from my banker that is urgent.”
Anyway, as I was providing my excuse for having my phone rudely out, he was already tucking his phone away in his pocket. Check.
When you’re on a first date, give your date your whole attention unless urgent and disclosed.
Urgent = sick kid at home or loved one in hospital or getting mortgage confirmation on place you’re buying. “Time is of the essence” type of stuff.
I ordered a decaf Americano and we agreed to share the cheese plate.
We shared stories and cheese but no cheesy stories.
He was a gentleman, but avoided eye contact and instead gazed off to the side Heavenward.
Also, he noticeably slouched and I had the feeling he felt the weight of the world despite his easy smile.
He asked me how I became a dating coach and I replied, “I got into the business after years of obsessive study, testing theories, practicing strategies, and fine tuning … but it wasn’t until I went on [dating site] and was sorely disappointed by the photos, write-ups and communications that I realized men need my help—95% of dating site profiles suck!”
He laughed and agreed. “Women’s aren’t so great, either.” (True!)
But he had a positive attitude about his last relationship, “The girls are handling it well, the split. I take them to school …”
I found out that he was only a few months out of a marriage and “not quite divorced” as in: “not even legally separated yet.”
“Ahhh,” I said, trying to recall if I read this disqualifier in his profile or if I’d missed it, “So, you’re really fresh meat!”
We both laughed.
I told l him not to be too quick to settle down again, “It’s okay to get out there and taste some different ice-cream flavours. Just don’t tell your girls until you’re divorced! They’ll tell mom, and she’ll make you pay.”
I sold real estate for 20 years. I saw a lot of divorces. When she finds out you’re moving on, she’s not all: “Oh, that’s cool, here let me be generous in our settlement so you can spend our money on your new sweetie.” #truth
This also applies to bitter fellas feeling hurt if she moves on first.
We talked for a couple hours, then took our leave.
He walked with me on my route home until we came to where he needed to go a different direction to his car.
He offered me a ride home (check), and I declined. Women always have safety first at the forefront of their minds.
We thanked each other and parted ways.
Later, he texted me asking for feedback on how he did on “attractiveness, first impression, personality?”
The Project 50 First Dates Takeaways:
Don’t be afraid to ask for her preferences with regard to communication. Respecting a woman’s communication needs means knowing what they are.
Know that dating sites are the first place single people who are “back on the market” go to get back into dating. Understanding this means asking the right questions before you meet—are you up for fresh meat?
Be honest about your relationship status. You’ll have a better chance of meeting someone in the same place emotionally and not disappoint nor be disappointed.
Forge your own path—without “oversharing” with your past partner—when you’re going through a legal “sedation” or divorce. Divorce requires delicacy in the delivery of information, especially when children are involved. Most breakups are highly emotionally (and often negatively) charged. Let’s face it: even though you were supposed to share everything with that person while you were with them, you didn’t. Don’t start now. P.S. If you want to sleep well at night, be fair in the settlement. (You know what that looks like.)
Always offer to walk or drive your date home. That’s called being a gentleman. Understand that, if it’s the first date, she just met you and doesn’t know if you’re a John Ritter or Jack the Ripper 😉 #makeherfeelsafe
Slouchy Stargazer was a solid seven in my estimation.
Fix slouching and stargazing would get him an extra point.
Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of my other updated Project 50 First Dates updates!
If you want to get the maximum points possible so you can score the best gal for you, get my WakeUP2Luv program today!
Think you’re all that and a bag of kettle chips? Ok, fine, but if you’re on a dating site, guaranteed your profile needs work. Get my Double Your Online Dating program here. Cheap like borsch!
Make Her Like You Over Text? What to Text a Woman to Get Her Attention
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How to Trigger Chemistry with a Girl by Text | Text Her for the First Time
MUST SEE. Harry Vox Reveals the Crack Down. SHARE.
How to Trigger Chemistry with a Girl by Text (Texting Fails Men Make!)
10 Conversation Tips for Single Men (Charm Her!)
Best Icebreaker to Use on a Dating Site (dating advice for men 2020)
What to Do If They Don’t Text Back After a Second Date (Dating Advice 2020)
How Many Messages to Send on a Dating Site Advice (2020)
How Often to Text (Dating Advice 2020)
When to Text After a First Date (Dating Advice 2020)
What to text a woman + first text + online communication (Dating Advice for Men 2020)
When it comes to matters of the heart rejection sucks, and is inevitable, so let’s learn how to handle rejection like a stormtrooper!
If you can handle rejection like the trooper you are you’ll be able to look at rejection as a welcome challenge.
AJ Rejection Story
When I was but a wee insecure teenage fledgling, I got rejected a few times by guys I thought were “like, for sure, my true love and, like, soulmate!” *dramatic sigh*
I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know one of their last names. It must’ve been, like, just awful.
I write “must’ve” because since I learned how to handle rejection I can’t remember how the awful part of it felt.
But before I got to that empowered stance, I chose an unhealthy path…
After failing to hogtie any of the early rejectors, I learned how to “get” guys—the wrong guys (for me), but still, it seemed like progress at the time.
How I Avoided Rejection
Instead of learning how to handle rejection, I avoided rejection totally.
I only sought out men I knew wouldn’t reject or ditch me.
But look where that got me!
In case you didn’t read my memoir and don’t know where that got me: it got me cuckoo with a side of heartache. (And single for a long time.)
The interesting bit is when I went into real estate sales, at the tender age of 20, I loooved rejection.
Ok, maybe not my first day.
Fiiiine, definitely not my first day, my first day was terrible, but after a day of rejections I learned how to handle rejection.
Whether it was a residual cuckoo effect or it was because I made a game of getting rejected, I used all those real estate “nos” to hone my sales skills and try new communication techniques and turned my “no” woes into WOWs.
My “Handle Rejection” Mantra: Every “no” is closer to a “yes!”
This is the awesome possum attitude that helped propel me to becoming Anna J, Super Star Realty Lady. (See memoir.)
Real estate managers and brokers tell salespeople every day, “Don’t take it personally.”
I say, “Bullshit. Do take it personally!”
It is personal.
If you’re not effectively communicating how you can help someone—the client—achieve their goals—to buy a home or to sell a home—it is you.
But in the dating world, you’re not looking for quantity, you’re looking for quality.
And if you’re on this website, you also believe that what you’re looking for adds up to one.
When you retrain your brains to think of rejection as “one step closer to your right yes,” you build up the stamina to sustain your self-esteem throughout the rejections that lead to your goal: The Right One.
AJ Heartache Prevention RX: Be yourself.
If you want your potential partner to be their best self, you’d better be your best (real) self.
Plus, who wants to “forever after” fake a role? (Been there, dumb that.)
The Handle Rejection Takeaways:
Rejection means you’re in the game!
Letting go of the “no” woes is a winning attitude.
Winning attitudes are sexy, y’all.
Hello! Winners win!
Get real! Be (/become) the best you, which feels better and gets you there faster. High five!
Oh, and are you wondering about the whole Stormtrooper reference?
They’re resilient mofos that never give up.
(They also serve the dark side, but don’t do that.)
Handle Rejection & Get the Girl with WakeUP2Luv
To figure out what your best real self really is invest in my WakeUP2Luv program.
Hint: If you do the homework, your life will be all around better and you’ll be ready for the woman you really want.
Anna, did you just say homework??
Yep, sorry, suck it up.
Progress requires effort. (That’s how I got to be Super Star Realty Lady!)
If you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always got!
WakeUP2Luv provides the step-by-step how-to’s so you don’t even have to figure out what to do next.
Do it, Stormtrooperrr.
How to Get over Approach Anxiety & Fear of Rejection (Dating Advice for Shy Guys)
Handling Rejection When She Doesn’t Text Back (Dating Advice for Nice Guys)
Why is heartbreak so painful? Why is rejection painful? (Dating Advice)
How to Get Over Fear of Rejection (Dating Advice for Shy Guys & Introverts 2020)
How to Get Over The Fear of Rejection (Dating Advice for Shy Guys 2020)
how to deal with rejection from women #JustTheTip
3 Ways to Rebuild Confidence After Heartbreak (Dating Advice for Men)