True or False: Nice Guys Finish Last?

Nice Guys Finish Last But Good Men Come In First

The reason “nice guys” finish last and good men don’t is because the difference between nice guys and good guys is … self-assurance and intention.

And now here’s a photo of a dolphin …

waxing your dolphin

No, just kidding.

Well, yes, it is a photo of a dolphin, but there’s more to this whole nice-guys-finish-last story.

And if you don’t want to be a single guy waxing his dolphin forever, focus here fellas!

Nice Guys Finish Last because they:

  • don’t trust themselves enough to have solid opinions
  • agree with everything she says to be amenable
  • avoid potential mistakes by not making decisions
  • have ulterior, selfish motives

Good Guys Come in First because they:

  • trust themselves enough to have solid opinions and aren’t afraid to share them
  • disagree with things that don’t align with their beliefs (respectfully)
  • are confident decision makers because they’ve learned from practicing [making decisions]
  • are straight-shooters without a hidden agenda (key word: hidden!)

Women prefer good men over nice guys because women want to feel safe, and a man with self-assurance and integrity makes her feel safe.

Let’s analyze …

A woman believes that a man with solid opinions, who can make decisions and disagree when necessary, will be able to “take care of” her, and since women’s primary need is to feel safe—emotionally and physically—his self-assurance goes a long way to achieving that goal—even if he isn’t capable of taking care of her.

Do women need to be taken care of?

In the modern age and in the Western world, not really, but despite feminism, feeling safe is still an innate need.

I don’t know a woman who doesn’t want to feel safe and (at some level) taken care of. Even if she can’t admit it (even to herself).

And this doesn’t mean a man needs bags of money. I’m not necessarily talking about that kind of “taken care of.”

The three most powerful words a man can say to a woman are, “I got this!”
Bryan Reeves

Sociology / Biology

Because of sociology and/or biology, women are attuned to the most innocuous feelings of others: we are the (physically) weaker sex, “reading hint” is part of our survival mechanism.

The feminine aspect of (most) women’s nature is far more sensitive to picking up subtle signs of fake niceness over genuine goodness.

When you’re “too nice,” she won’t trust that you’re being honest and real with her and, therefore, aren’t trustworthy!

I’ll tell you right now, fibbers don’t make women feel safe. Nuhuh, no, sir, do not pass go.

Go back to the hand lotion. Back off and whack off, Buster!

But when a man has his own opinions, and especially when he can disagree with her in a kind or even playful way, then she knows he’ll have an opinion when it really counts—like when he has an opportunity to physically protect her or verbally defend her.

Or even when she feels unsure about something and wants his opinion.

How to Go From Nice Guy to Good Man:

  1. Monitor yourself in conversations—with everyone, not just women.
  2. Contemplate how you feel about certain things that you usually simply agree with.
  3. When you discover a conflicting opinion, instead of agreeing with the person, ask questions.
  4. When you get comfy asking questions, offer alternative opinions, “Some people think [this], what do you think?” They may ask for your opinion. Here’s your opportunity to share your take in a non-aggressive way.
  5. Make decisions. If a friends says―Where do you want to eat?―even if you don’t care, offer a suggestion. You can make it easy on yourself by saying what you crave and letting them make the decision, or ask them what they crave and make the decision on where to eat.

Nice Guys Finish Last Takeaways:

  1. Lack of self-assurance comes from lack of practice; lack of practice comes from lack of self-esteem.
  2. Nice = fake. Kind = respectful.

The backbone to my WakeUP2Luv program is a step-by-step what-to-do plan to rewrite your (love) life, inside and outside… because you can read a bazillion blogs on how to build a bicycle, but until you start putting parts together, dude, you ain’t got no ride. 😉

xo AJ

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Also, here’s my newest video on nice guys:

And, what the heck, a playlist for y’all Costco shoppers 😉 …